A taste of the real world
by zack-cambell
Summary: Chapter 9 now up! The FFVII team go to the real world! please R+R
1. The Begining

(This is my first fic, so please be nice. And I don't own these characters SQUARESOFT does!)  
  
  
  
(In the land of FFVII)  
  
  
YUFFIE: I'M SO BORED   
CAIT: YOU'RE BORED! AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT A TOY CAT  
BARRET: SHUT THE F### UP, YOU S### HEADS!  
*The group was walking along the beach, when all of a sudden Tifa trips*  
TIFA: OUCHHHHHH!  
CLOUD: ARE YOU O.K?  
TIFA: I'M FINE  
RED: WHAT DID YOU TRIP OVER?  
TIFA: SOME BIG ROCK!  
ARIES: IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A ROCK  
TIFA: ARE YOU SAYING I'M A LIAR?  
ARIES:NO, NOT AT ALL  
TIFA: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU  
*Tifa and aries get into a big cat fight* *Vincent draws his gun and fires into the air*  
TIFA & ARIES: SORRY EVERYBODY  
SEPHIROTH: ARIES IS RIGHT, IT'S NOT A ROCK  
*Aries sticks out her tongue at Tifa, and Tifa yanks on it*  
ARIES: OUCH!  
CID: ENOUGH YOU LITTLE #%$&@%^&*#$%%^&^^^%#!@^*  
CLOUD: WELL WHAT IS IT THEN SEPHIROTH?  
SEPHIROTH: IT'S MATERIA  
YUFFIE: MATERIAAAAAAAAAAA! YEE-HAW!!!!!!  
*Yuffie runs over and throws Sephiroth out of the way*  
YUFFIE: YEE-HAW! MATERIA! MINE, MINE, MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
*Yuffie hugs the materia and starts to roll around the beach laughing*  
YUFFIE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  
SEPHIROTH: I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS BEATEN BY THAT YAHOO!  
* No offence Yuffie lovers*  
YUFFIE: I LOVE MATERIA, I LOVE MATERIA!!!!!!!!!!  
BARRET: SHUT THE F%&^ UP!!!!!!!!!!!  
YUFFIE: SORRY  
*The materia started to glow*  
YUFFIE: WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!!!  
RED: SOMEBODY SAID THE "MAGIC" WORD!  
TIFA: BARRET!!!!!!!!!!!!  
BARRET: WHAT!?! ALL I SAID WAS " SHUT THE F%&^ UP!!!!!!!!!!!"  
*There was a white flash and the group vanished*  
(well that's the first chapter, but there will be more and it might not fit the description yet but it will soon...... I promise!* 


	2. How did we get here?

*The group awoke in what looked to be an INN*  
  
BARRET: HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE!?!  
CAIT: WHO KNOWS?  
*Cloud looks out the window*  
CLOUD: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
BARRET: WHAT, DID YOU SEE JENOVA AGAIN?  
SEPIROTH: HEY, COME ON, THAT'S MY MOTHER YOUR TALKING ABOUT!  
CLOUD: NO THAT'S NOT IT  
ARIES: WELL WHAT IS IT THEN?  
CLOUD: I DON'T THINK WE'RE IN COSTA DEL SOL ANYMORE  
ARIES: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
*Aries looks out the window*  
ARIES: OH MY ANCIENT!  
CLOUD: TOLD YA SO  
*The group steps to the window and takes a look outside*  
*Then there is a loud knock on the door*  
BELL BOY: ROOM SERVICE  
GROUP: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!  
*Cait Sith bumps into Red XIII. Red falls out the window and the cat falls after him, leaving his large stuffed companion behind*  
CLOUD: NANAKI! REEVE... I MEAN CAIT! ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?  
RED: YEAH, WERE FINE  
*The group turns around to see a man in a red suit*  
BELL BOY: HI THERE  
CLOUD: SHINRA SPY!!!!!!!!!!!  
BARRET: ATTACK!!!!!!!!  
*After they finished killing the bell boy, they went back to the window just in time to see a van pull away*  
CID: WHERE THE %*%*((&^$#$*(^#*&^* ARE CAIT AND RED!?!  
TIFA: SSSHHHHHHHH! I'M THINKING  
CID: WHAT THE #^&*%^#@*%* YOU THINKING ABOUT?  
TIFA: I SAW THE LETTERS S-H-I-N-R-A ON THE FRONT OF THE VAN  
CLOUD: SHINRA  
BARRET: I NEVER REALLY LIKED EITHER OF THEM, BUT KIDNAPPED BY SHINRA  
YUFFIE: WE HAVE TO HELP POOR RED  
ARIES: YUFFIE!  
YUFFIE: SORRY...... AND CAIT TO  
CLOUD: ALL RIGHT LET'S FOLLOW THAT VAN!  
*So they followed the "shinra" van, not knowing that they weren't just not in Costa del sol, but in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. That's right, they were getting a taste of the real world!* 


	3. The big plan

*So they followed the van to a building*  
  
  
TIFA: WHERE'S THE VAN?  
CLOUD: IT MUST BE INSIDE  
BARRET: F#@%, HOW DO WE GET IN!?!  
YUFFIE: WHY DON'T WE TRY THE DOOR?  
EVERYONE (EXCEPT YUFFIE): YUFFIE! THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES   
YUFFIE: IT WAS JUST A SUGGESTION  
*Well everyone was rambling on, Yuffie goes over to the door and open's it*  
YUFFIE: SHALL WE?  
EVERYONE EXCEPT YUFFIE: SORRY  
*meanwhile*  
CAIT: I DON'T GET IT, WHY WOULD SHINRA KIDNAP ME?  
RED: WHY WOULDN'T THEY?  
CAIT: 1. I AM A SHINRA SPY. 2. I'M SO CUTE!  
*meanwhile, the gang was trying to find away to get past the security guards*   
SEPHIROTH: HOW DO WE GET PAST?  
CLOUD: WE COULD MUG THEM AND TAKE THEIR CLOTHES  
TIFA: CLOUD  
CLOUD WHAT?  
ARISE: WE COULD ALL DRESS UP LIKE GIRL'S AGAIN  
CLOUD: OH MAN  
*the all dress up in clothes they found some place*  
CLOUD: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS AGAIN  
BARRET: NOW I KNOW WHY YOU GET PISSED EVERY TIME I BRING THE STORY UP   
VINCENT: OH LORD  
SEPHIROTH: I'VE GOT AN IDEA "MAN'S HUDDLE"  
*all the men go into a huddle*  
CLOUD: SO WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?  
SEPHIROTH: BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT MY PLAN WON'T GET US OUT OF THESE DRESSES  
BARRET: F$%^  
CID: $#^%^#@$&$@!!&$%%#%^  
SEPHIROTH: I SAY WE GET THE GIRL'S TO DRESS LIKE MEN   
BARRET: HELL YA  
CLOUD: ALL RIGHT  
MEN: BREAK!  
*five minutes later*  
ARISE: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M WEARING MEN'S CLOTHING  
YUFFIE: AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR A FAKE MUSTACHE!  
TIFA: I THINK WE HAVE A PROBLEM?  
CLOUD: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
*Tifa points to her breasts*  
CID: HOLY $^@$#^$%#@@^@$@!%#%@#!  
SEPHIROTH: I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT  
BARRET: I'LL COVER YOU UP  
YUFFIE: WE HAVE TO THINK OF COUPLES  
CLOUD: OKAY, BARRET AND TIFA, ME AND ARISE, YUFFIE AND VINCENT  
CID: $%$^$#^ WHAT ABOUT ME?  
CLOUD: YOU CAN BE THE HORNY LONER WHO TRY'S TO STEAL EVERYONE BOYFRIEND  
CID: %@@$&^%@$#^$$#%@%%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. The Rescue

*Okay I'm sorry for spelling Aries wrong, anyway so the group was walking past the guards when all of a sudden*  
  
GUARD#1: HI  
GROUP: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!  
GUARD#2: WOW, TALK ABOUT A JUMPY GROUP  
GUARD#3: YEAH, MAYBE THEY SHOULD TRY DECAF  
YUFFIE: WHAT'S DECAF?  
*The guards stare at her*  
YUFFIE: WHY ARE THEY STARRING AT ME?  
CLOUD: I DON'T KNOW   
GUARD#2: UM, WE HAVE TO SEARCH YOU.  
BARRET: GOD DAMN IT, NOW WE HAVE TO KILL THEM  
GUARD#1: WHAT DID YOU SAY?  
*Barret pulls out his arm and kills all three*  
CID: NOW WE DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THESE STUPID CLOTHES ANYMORE  
*meanwhile*  
CAIT: WHY AREN'T THEY RESCUING ME?..... I MEAN US  
RED: I DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY SHINRA  
CAIT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
RED: WELL FOR STARTERS, THERE NOT WEARING SHINRA UNIFORMS  
CAIT: YOUR RIGHT  
*Back to the group*  
SEPHIROTH: I THINK WE SHOULD GO THIS WAY  
BARRET: WHO MADE YOU THE F&^$ING LEADER?  
SEPHIROTH: YOUR THE ONE WHO SAID THE MAGIC WORD!  
BARRET: ALL RIGHT THAT'S IT! YOU WANT GO!?!  
ARIES: ALL RIGHT BREAK IT UP AND I DON'T MEAN ME!  
TIFA: WE HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING  
CLOUD: I'M WITH TIFA ON THIS ONE  
TIFA: THANKS CLOUD  
YUFFIE: HEY SOMEONE'S COMING  
*A man walk's in and gets tripped by Tifa*  
BARRET: OKAY HAND THEM OVER  
MAN: WHO?  
BARRET: THE CAT AND THE BEAST, YOU SHINRA SCUM!  
MAN: NO YOU MISS UNDER STAND THAT'S OUR LOGO, SHINRA  
CLOUD: WHAT DO MEAN?  
MAN: THE SIGN IS BACKWARD IT'S REALLY: ARNIHS  
BARRET: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT STAND FOR!?!  
MAN: ANIMAL  
RIGHTS  
NATION  
INTERNATIONAL  
HEAD  
STATION  
BARRET: WHAT THE F%$&?  
YUFFIE: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  
MAN: IT MEANS THAT I'M AN ANIMAL CATCHER!  
SEPHIROTH: UH-OH  
TIFA: WE BETTER GET OUT OF HERE  
ARIES: BUT WE HAVE TO GET RED & CAIT  
CLOUD: ALL RIGHT LETS GO FIND THEM  
*They ran down the hall until they found Red and Cait*  
CAIT: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?!  
CID: SHUT THE %^^*$#$$&*$#&(&^#&*^$*$ UP!!!!!  
SEPHIROTH: LETS GET OUT OF HERE  
*The group ran out of the building and went to get something to eat*  
  
TO BE CONTINUED! 


	5. New friend

*So they ran and ran and ran and ran and ran, until*  
  
BARRET: I'M SO F^#&ING HUNGRY!  
SEPHIROTH: YOU THINK YOUR HUNGRY, I COULD EAT CAIT SITH  
*Cait hides behind his huge doll*  
TIFA: OH, POOR CAIT  
ARIES: HEY THAT'S MY JOB!  
TIFA: WHAT IS?  
ARIES: COMFORTING THE DEPRESSED  
TIFA: IT IS NOT  
ARIES: IS SO  
TIFA: IS NOT  
ARIES: COPY CAT!  
TIFA: YOU BIT%# !  
ARIES: LET'S GO!  
*Aries and Tifa start to cat fight again*  
CID: WOULD YOU TWO &#*$#*(%*&^)*$&#$**$$#(%#% STOP!!!!!  
CLOUD: COME ON LET'S FIND SOME FOOD  
BARRET: GOOD IDEA!  
YUFFIE: LOOK!  
*Yuffie points to a fast food restaurant*  
RED: IT'S CALLED "KFC"  
BARRET: LET'S GO!  
*The gang runs into KFC and goes up to the counter*  
CASHIER: WELCOME TO KFC, MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?  
CLOUD: WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO YOU HAVE?  
CASHIER: CHICKEN  
CLOUD: WHAT'S CHICKEN?  
CASHIER: HOLD ON, I'LL TRY TO GO GET A PICTURE, TOM I NEED A PICTURE OF A CHICKEN!  
TOM: COMING RIGHT UP!  
*Tom brings a photo of a chicken*  
CASHIER: HERE YOU ARE  
*Holds up picture*  
CID: HOLY ^&^&*$^#*^&$%^*%% !  
TIFA: IT'S A CHOCOBO!  
CLOUD: YOU EAT CHOCOBOS!?!  
CASHIER (WHISPERS TO TOM): THEY MUST BE FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY  
TOM (WHISPERS TO CASHIER): CHOCOBO MUST MEAN CHICKEN  
CASHIER: YES WE EAT CHO....... WHAT EVER YOU CALL IT, WE EAT IT ALL THE TIME  
CLOUD: OH  
ARIES: OKAY  
SEPHIROTH: UM, NO THANKS, WE WON'T HAVE THAT  
CASHIER: WE ALSO HAVE SALAD  
TIFA: OKAY WE WILL HAVE THAT  
VINCENT: I'LL HAVE THE CHOCOBO  
EVERYONE ( EXCEPT VINCENT): VINCENT!  
*Everyone was sitting down when all of sudden*  
KID: HI  
BARRET: SCREW OFF KID  
KID: HOLY, WHAT'S UP YOUR @$$!  
*Barret's jaw drops*  
ARIES: OH MY, POTTY MOUTH YOU HAVE  
KID: DO I KNOW YOU?  
ARIES: NO  
KID: WELL I'VE SEEN ALL OF YOU SOME WHERE  
CLOUD: REALLY  
KID: YEAH  
BARRET: PISS OFF!  
TIFA: BARRET!  
KID: BARRET! OH MY, LET ME SEE YOUR RIGHT HAND  
*Barret holds up his gun arm*  
KID: HOLY SH!T! YOUR FINAL FANTASY 7!  
BARRET: AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?  
KID: THE NAME'S BENNY  
SEPHIROTH: COULD YOU HELP US?  
BENNY: I'D BE F&#%ING HONOURED  
YUFFIE: COULD YOU BRING US TO WHERE YOU STAY?  
BENNY: SURE!  
*So Benny lead them to his house* 


	6. Benny's house

(So here they are, following some kid that must be at least half their age.)  
  
YUFFIE: HOW MUCH LONGER?  
BENNY: QUIT YOUR WHINING  
CAIT: DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?  
BENNY: YEAH, I HAVE A CAT  
CAIT: FEMALE?  
BENNY: NO  
CAIT: OH  
BENNY: ARE YOU MALE?  
CAIT: OF COURSE  
BENNY: WELL, YOUR F#&@ED  
CLOUD: SO YOU MUST HAVE A PRETTY BIG HOUSE, IF YOU CAN FIT US IN  
BENNY: WELL, THAT'S THE DOWN SIDE. IT'S REALLY SMALL AND ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO HIDE  
ARIES: WHY?  
BENNY: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, JUST WHEN WE GET IN, HIDE  
SEPHIROTH: SO, DO YOU HAVE A RESTROOM?  
BENNY: YEAH  
TIFA: SO DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY?  
BENNY: JESUS! WHAT'S WITH ALL THE QUESTION?  
TIFA: SORRY  
BENNY: IT'S OKAY, YEAH I HAVE MY MOM, BROTHER AND MY DAD DOESN'T LIVE WITH ME  
CID: SO HOW MUCH *#$&^*@^(%&%&$#%**&*$^*^($$%*ING LONGER!?!  
BARRET: YEAH REALLY, MY FEET ARE GETTING TIRED  
BENNY: SHUT UP! WE'RE HERE  
(Benny took out a set of keys and opened the front door, and just walked in the next door)  
BENNY: WAIT HERE  
RED: OKAY  
(Benny came out about 2 minutes later)  
BENNY: OKAY, THE COAST IS CLEAR  
ARIES: NO ONE IS HOME?  
BENNY: KIKO IS HOME  
CAIT: WHO'S KIKO?  
BENNY: MY CAT  
(So they went in)  
ARIES: OH, WHAT IS THIS AWFUL MUSIC  
BENNY: OZZY OSBOURNE  
RED: WHO?  
BENNY: NEVERMIND  
(Benny turns off the music)  
BENNY: COME ON I'LL GIVE YOU THE TOUR  
(Benny gives them a tour of his house and they all go back to the living room)  
VINCENT: BENNY, GOT ANY CHOCOBO?  
EVERYONE: VINCENT!  
ARIES: OH WHAT A CUTE TEDDY BEAR, WHY IS ON THE FLOOR?  
(Aries hugs it to her face)  
BENNY: HAHAHAHAHA  
ARIES: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?  
BENNY (TRYING NOT TO LAUGH): IT'S KIKO'S SEX TOY! HAHAHAHAHA!  
(Aries tries to throw it away, but it sticks to her face)  
EVERYONE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
ARIES: IS NU FENIE!  
EVERYONE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
CLOUD: OKAY, HAHA, LET'S TRY TO GET THAT THING OFF HER FACE  
EVERYONE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
ARIES: HEL UP MI!  
EVERYONE: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
SEPHIROTH: OKAY, LET'S ACTUALLY GET IT OFF  
BARRET: OKAY, HAHA  
(Everyone tries to pull it off but can't)  
BENNY: I HAVE GOT AN IDEA  
(Benny runs to the kitchen and to get the scissors)  
BENNY: DAMN, CAN'T FIND THEM! WAIT CLOUD LET ME SEE YOUR ITEMS  
(Cloud shows him the items)  
BENNY: OH COME ON WHERE ARE THEY? HERE WE GO, ATOMIC SCISSORS!  
(Benny starts to cut the teddy off of Aries's face)  
BENNY: THERE NOW PULL!  
(Everyone starts to pull when)  
RIP!  
YUFFIE: ALL RIGHT WE DID IT!  
BENNY: HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
ARIES: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?  
BENNY: YOU!  
TIFA: LOOK!  
EVERYONE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
ARIES: WHAT?  
(Aries runs to the rest room and looks in the mirror)  
ARIES: AHHHHHHHHHH!  
(She had a piece of fur on her chin, which made her look like she had a goatee)  
BARRET: HEY, LOOK, IT'S THE BEARDED WOMAN!  
EVERYONE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
(The door opens)  
MOM: BENNY! I'M HOME!  
BENNY: S%^T! SCRAMBLE!  
(in 3 seconds they were all gone)  
MOM: ARE YOU OKAY?  
BENNY: YEAH  
MOM: WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO?  
BENNY: UH, NO ONE, YEAH, NO ONE MOM 


	7. a little fun in the park

*Mom left 10 minutes later and the group reappears*  
  
BENNY: HOW DID YOU GET AWAY SO FAST?  
CLOUD: WE'RE AT LEVEL 99  
BENNY: SO?  
SEPHIROTH: SO, OUR SPEED IS AT 255 AS WELL  
BENNY: OH  
*The door opens really quick*  
TEENAGER: HEY  
ARIES: AHHHHHHHH!  
BENNY: LES! SCREW OFF!  
LES: OH COME ON  
BENNY: EVERYONE THIS MY BROTHER, LES  
EVERYONE: HEY LES  
*Les looks around the room*  
LES: WAIT A MINUTE, SPIKEY HAIR.... GUN ARM...... HUGE RACKS..... FLOWER GIRL..... BEAST THING...... GUY WHO WANTS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD........ NINJA WONNABE........ CAT ON A DOLL........ DEAD GUY......... AND A GAY NAVY PILOT....... I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HALLOWEEN!  
CID: I'M NOT $&#$^$w#&%$%$%(##&%$%&ING GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
BENNY: CALM DOWN  
LES: BENNY, TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO GO OUTSIDE  
*Les goes up to Aries*  
LES: AND NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO BE ARIES....... LOSE THE BEARD  
*Benny and the gang go outside*  
BARRET: WHAT THE F%#^ IS HIS PROBLEM?  
BENNY: HE'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT  
ARIES: HE'S A BULLY!  
YUFFIE: I THINK HE'S A SWEETHEART....  
TIFA: WHERE TO NEXT?  
BENNY: WHO KNOWS?  
CLOUD: HEY LOOK, ISN'T THAT A PARK DOWN THE STREET?  
BENNY: YEP  
SEPHIROTH: LET'S GO  
*they walk to the park*  
YUFFIE: I CALL THE SWING  
CAIT: I CALL THE OTHER SWING  
RED: WELL I DON'T MIND, AFTER ALL I CAN'T SWING ANY WAYS  
*they just do normal stuff* *Benny walks over to the swings*  
BENNY: CAIT, GET THE F$&# OFF THE SWING!  
CAIT: MAKE ME!  
*Benny punches Cait in the face*  
CAIT: OKAY  
BOY: HEY! WHAAAAAAZZZUUUUPPP!!!!!!!  
BENNY: YO WILFRED!  
*Wilfred walks in*  
WILFRED: WHO THE FU%K!?!  
BENNY: DON'T YOU REMEMBER THEM?  
WILFRED: WHY THE FU^K WOULD I KNOW WHO THESE GAY BIT#HES ARE!?!  
CID:&%&$#^&@*($@&^(*%^#@)*(&*($#^*)((*#&@(*^)$*^(*#$(&&^($#*(^#@*@&($^$&*(*$#(&*$(#&&$#&(#$*(^$&($&*)*&($#&^)($*&)(%()*&(&)$(#*&)_%&*^$*&_)&*(_#*)(#@)_^^*$&_*&#)*&)#$*&&$_*&$#)#$(&)&(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
BENNY: YOU SH!T HEAD!  
WILFRED: WHAT?  
BENNY: HOW DARE DISRESPECT FINAL FANTASY VII!  
WILFRED: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
BENNY: LOOK AT HIM, LOOK CAREFULLY  
*Benny points to a cat that's nose is bleeding*  
CAIT: OH M-M-MY NOSE IS BLEEDING.... M-MY NOSE IS B-B-B-BROKEN!..... HE BROKE MY NOSE!!!!!  
WILFRED: CAIT SITH?  
BENNY: LOOK AT THAT GUY SWEARING RAPIDLY!  
CID: ^*&#@%(&^*%%(*$$$**%%$&!!!!  
WILFRED: CID?  
BENNY: AND LOOK AT THAT GUY IN THE BLACK SUIT WITH THE REALLY HUGE SWORD!  
WILFRED: SEPHIROTH? FINAL FANTASY 7!!!!!!!!! HOLY SH!T GUY!!!!  
ARIES: POOR CHILD, ALREADY ADDICTED TO PROFANITY  
WILFRED: OH MAN.... BUT WHO'S THE GIRL WITH THE GOATEE?  
ARIES: CAN'T I GET ANY RESPECT AROUND HERE!?!  
*Wilfred walks up to Barret*  
BARRET: WHAT?  
WILFRED: GO EAT A DRUMSTICK!  
BARRET: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!  
WILFRED: OH I'M SORRY..... I SAID, GO EAT A DRUMSTICK! OKAY!?!  
BARRET: FO! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!  
WILFRED: WHAT?  
BARRET: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  
WILFRED: WHAT?  
BARRET: IS THAT ALL YOU SAY!?!  
WILFRED: STOP IT!  
*Barret storms off*  
WILFRED: I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT  
VINCENT: ......  
WILFRED: YO VINCENT..... WHHAAAAZZUUUUUP!!!!  
VINCENT: .....  
WILFRED: WELL AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING?  
VINCENT: .......... WHHAAAAZZUUUUUP!!!!  
TIFA: HEY BENNY  
WILFRED: WHAT?  
BENNY: DON'T START WILFRED  
TIFA: HOW DO YOU AND WILFRED KNOW US SO WELL?  
BENNY: YOUR A VIDEO GAME  
CLOUD: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
BENNY: I MEAN....  
YUFFIE: WWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
*they look at Yuffie who is swinging and doing 360's around the the horizontal pole*  
BENNY: OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH OF THE PARK FOR TODAY 


	8. weird stuff happens

*So they left the park and decided to go back to Benny's house*  
Yuffie: Where's Les?  
Wilfred: Oh you mean your sweetheart.  
Yuffie: He isn't my sweetheart!  
Wilfred: Leslie and Yuffie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Yuffie with the baby carriage. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!  
Barret: What's so funny?  
Wilfred: What?  
Barret: I said  
Wilfred: What?  
Barret: Oh not again  
Wilfred: What?  
Barret: God damn it!  
Wilfred: Yes!  
Barret: What?  
Wilfred: I said  
Barret: What?  
Wilfred: Stop that!  
Barret: What?  
Wilfred: F%^K YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Barret: ............... What?  
*Wilfred runs away crying*  
Everyone: Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!  
Red: Bored  
Cait: Me too  
Red: But you have a bloody nose to take care of  
Cait: Why you!  
*Cait attacks Red*  
Cid: Stop you #^&($#$&**$^&&*&ing @$$holes!!!!!!  
Barret: You can't swear, for Chocobo sh^t!  
Vincent: Hmmmmm..... Chocobo sh^t  
Cid: Oh Yeah!?!  
Barret: Yeah!  
*They start to have a swearing contest*  
Barret: #^*&$@!!!!!  
Cid: $@%@&&&$#^@#!!!!!!!!  
Barret: $#&&&^####&***^^^^^&*%#(^%!!!!!!!!!!  
Cid: Oh yeah!?! $#@)(#@@#^&I&*(*Q&^&^)(*%$*%($^*****^()(%*&%$%*^$&%((^*$$%**(%**%$$$$$*%(()#$##@@$$####%#^$^$&$*^*@q#&*%*%*%$***$^*)^%&*(%(%*()*&)$&((%%((!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^#&&%^#@@@&&*^!!!!!  
Barret: Okay, you win  
Cid: Oh yeah! I'm the &%&#$$&$#&#&$ing cursing champ!  
Benny: uh-hum!  
Cid: You want to take me on?  
Benny: You #$%^&$#$^^&(^@###%**^^^*$%*^(^#@*^($@&(#@@@###&*(((&^^^%$#####**^$&%$*#$#$&&%***^(*%%($#@!#^^^^@!#&^%^$##&**^^$$$@^^&&%**(&^%^#$%%&%***^&(^%^**^&%&*(&(&^*%&$#%#%*(&(&(%^$$$$$&&())**^%*^$$&###*@$!@@@%$&((((()^%#$#&^(((&%%%$*&()*&^%*^ing right!  
*Cid's mouth drops open*  
Cid & Barret: I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!  
Benny: Hahahahaha!!!!!!  
Aries: Cloud is mine!  
Tifa: Mine!!  
Aries: give me proof!  
Tifa: He slept with me!  
Aries: He did not!  
Tifa: Did so!  
Aries: He slept with me to  
Tifa: When?  
Aries: At the park in Midgar. When you saw us, we were finishing up  
Cloud: I don't remember that  
Aries: Shut up!  
Tifa: Why whould he want to sleep with a bearded woman!?!  
Aries: That's it!  
*Aries and Tifa start to cat fight for the 3rd time in this story!*  
Cait: I better go check on my doll, I left it in the rest room  
*Cait goes into the rest room, only to find Kiko humping his stuffed moogle*  
Cait: Doll!  
Kiko: Meowwwww!  
*Later on*  
Benny: I wonder if there is anymore FF characters walking around the earth  
*Benny's thoughts*  
*Shows Zidane & Vivi walking around*  
Girl: Viviwivi!......... Zidaney Whaney! Can I have your autograph?  
Zidane: Sure  
Girl: great!  
Vivi: What's your name?  
Girl: Yamini!  
*Benny's thoughts end*  
Benny: Hahahahaha!!!!!!!  
Sephiroth: Hey, you guys forgot me and Vincent  
Barret: Hey, where the f%^k is Vincent!?!  
*They hear the sound of a toilet flush*  
Everyone: Oooooooh  
*Les comes in*  
Yuffie: Hey Les  
Les: .......Hi. Hey Benny, I'm going to go to Pat's house  
Yuffie: Can I come?.... Pleeeeaaaase?  
Les: ....... Okay  
*Les and Yuffie leave*  
Benny: Man, Yuffie sure likes my brother  
Sephiroth: Yeah I know  
Cloud: I just hope they don't get to close. We don't want to have to pull them apart when we leave  
Benny: Leave?  
Cloud: Yeah, we have to go home  
Benny: But..  
Tifa: We have family & friends too  
Benny: fine  
Aries: Don't worry, we'll come back and visit  
Barret: F%^k that! The way this kid has treated us!  
Benny: Barret! Go fix me a drink!  
Barret: Yes master  
Cait: I'm with Barret  
Sephiroth: I'm not  
Cloud: Hey, where is Benny, anyway  
*Toilet flush* *Meanwhile*  
Les: Pat, this is Yuffie  
Pat: Cool, she looks like the one from the game!  
Les: I know  
(Les still doesn't know that she is Yuffie of FF7)  
Yuffie: Hi  
*Back at Benny's*  
Cloud: So what do you want to do  
Benny: Ssshhhhhhhhh! I'm on the Phone!  
Aries: I wonder who he's talking to  
Tifa: Me too  
( Finally they agree )  
Benny: Okay, I'm going to sleep  
Sephiroth: Why?  
Benny: I've got School in the morning  
( P.S. It's Sunday)  
Cloud: Can we come?  
Benny: Sure!  
Red: Wait, I think Vincent is going to say something  
Sephiroth: This is very rare he only does it once every chapter!  
Vincent: ........................ *Burp* .............. Whhaaaaazzzzuuuup!!!!! 


	9. First day at school for FF7

(Hello again, sorry it took me so god damn long, but you'll see why once you read the chapter  
)  
  
Benny wakes up and gets dressed. Then goes into the living room*  
Benny: Guys?  
Barret: Good morning master  
Cloud: When does school start?  
Benny: We leave at 8:30 AM  
Tifa: Well what time is it now?  
*Benny looks at the clock*  
Benny: Oh great, it's 8:00........ Where's Yuffie?  
Punk Rock Chick: Right here  
Red: Yuffie?  
Yuffie: Yep  
Cid: #&&^**%^$#!!  
Sephiroth: What happened?  
Yuffie: Les showed me the punk side of life............. I love it!  
Benny: Okay, um........ We have to leave for school  
*They leave*  
Cait: I just hope nothing happens to doll, when I'm gone  
*Back at Benny's*  
Kiko: Meowwwww!  
*They arrive at school*  
Benny: Wait. I have to go talk to the Principal  
*Benny walks in*  
Aries: How old is Benny?  
Cloud: He told me he was 12  
Aries: Oh  
*Benny comes back out*  
Benny: Okay, the Principal said yes......... But, if anyone asks...... Just say you're foreign exchange students  
Yuffie: Rock on!  
Red: What class do we have first?  
Benny: French  
Barret: What the F%^k is French?  
Benny: It's nothing........ By the way, no more swearing. Okay.  
*They walk around back*  
Benny: Kyle! Charlotte!  
Kyle & Charlotte: Hey Benny!  
Benny: These are my friends  
Cloud: We're foreign exchange students  
Kyle: .............Okay......  
Benny: Guess what  
Charlotte: What?  
*They hear the bell ring*  
Benny: Damn, I'll tell you later  
*They go inside to the French room*  
Benny: Find a seat  
Cloud: Okay  
*The Vice Principal walks in*  
VP: Okay, class settle down. Today we have some foreign exchange students, um Benny could you introduce them?  
*Benny and the gang stand up*  
Benny: This Spiky haired guy is......... Alfred  
(Cloud's name in the play at Gold Saucer was Alfred)  
Benny: The guy with no hand is............ Richard  
(They left their weapons at Benny's house)  
Benny: This girl with really long hair is.............. Emma. The girl with the beard is......... Jesse  
Barret / Richard: Poor Jessie *Sob sob*  
(Jessie that dies in Midgar)  
Benny: The Beast is........ Buddy. The Punk Rocker is........ Cara. The guy that looks like a cat is.... Howard. This guy in the cape is...... Vince. The guy smoking is......... Sid.  
* The VP takes the cigarette from Sid / Cid*  
Cid / Sid: &%*#$^$**%^%!!!!!!!!  
VP: Go to the Office Now!  
Cid / Sid: ((%*^%&^(((((^%&$##*^!!!!!!!!  
Benny: Anyway, um. And the guy that has all the white hair is, um....... Kevin.  
(Okay try to remember that. If you can't, write it down)  
French Teacher: So, do they speak French?  
Benny: No  
FT: Oh, okay  
*The group sits down, and they have a normal French class*  
Cloud/Alfred: So, what class do we have now?  
Benny: Well, you see, first we have to run laps. Then we go up to the class room and do what ever Ms. Gupta has planned  
Tifa/Emma: Ms. Gupta?  
Benny: The teacher  
Tifa/Emma: Oh  
Benny: Anyway like I was saying, after that we have recess. Then more work, and after that we have Gym. Next, is Lunch and recess. And after that we have music. Then we go back to class and read, then more work and recess. After recess even more work, then home.  
Sephiroth/Kevin: That's one long day of school  
Benny: Yep  
( Now I will do it in chapters)  
  
*Laps*  
  
Ms. Gupta: Okay I want 2 full laps around the field, come on let's go  
*Everyone starts to run. But in 3 seconds the group ( not Benny) are back*  
Ms. Gupta: How do you run so fast?  
Aries/Jesse: We're foreign exchange students  
  
*First work time*  
  
Ms. Gupta: Okay class, time for math. Everyone get out your books and do page 70 to 78  
Benny: Oh great, 8 pages of math. "I'm really gonna get this done"  
Cloud/Alfred: you are, cool man  
Benny: I was being sarcastic  
Cloud/Alfred: Oh  
Ms. Gupta: No Talking!  
Benny: Sorry Ms. Gupta, I was just helping........ Alfred  
Ms. Gupta: Oh okay  
Girl across table: Hey Benny, shut up and tell your foreign friends to shut up as well!  
(We sit in round tables of six)  
Benny: F&^k you Martha!  
Michael: Both of you shut up!  
Ms. Gupta: No talking!  
*Everyone was silent for about 5 minutes until someone broke the silence*  
Barret/Richard: F%^k! My pencil broke  
Ms. Gupta: Don't swear!  
Barret/Richard: She's lucky I don't have my gun  
Benny: Good only 1 page left to do. Maybe I will get this done  
Ms. Gupta: Okay let's take up the math  
Benny: Sh!t!  
  
*First Recess*  
  
*The bell ring's*  
Benny: Yes!  
The Group: Du-du-du-du-du-du-duh-du-duh!!!!!!!!!! (In the beat of the famous FF level up screen music)  
*They all rush outside*  
Benny: Hey Kyle!  
Kyle: Hey  
Benny: Yeah I can't believe it. I almost finished math, got to last question on page 7  
Sephiroth/Kevin: We all finished  
Kyle: cool  
Tifa/Emma: Sorry for budding in but, who is that girl over there?  
*Tifa/Emma points to a girl that when she grows up will be a threat to Tifa in bra size*  
Benny: Oh, that's Bronwyn  
Tifa/Emma: Can I go talk to her?  
Benny: Go ahead  
*Tifa/Emma walks over to Bronwyn*  
Tifa/Emma: So I bet I'm the only one has a bigger bra size then you........ that isn't fat  
Bronwyn: Oh yeah! Well when I'm older I'm gonna be bigger then you  
Tifa/Emma: Oh yeah........... Mine are Triple D's  
Bronwyn: Well, I'm getting implants!  
(Like she needs them)  
*back to the group*  
Kyle: Oh boy, here comes Martha and her friends  
Martha: Hey Benny, why don't you go screw-off with your boyfriends!  
Benny: Boyfriends?  
Martha: Oh I'm sorry, there's 2 girls in your group  
Benny: You mean 3  
Martha: No 2, The punk rocker and the one with the huge boobs........ where's the third?  
Aries/Jesse: uh-hum!  
Martha: Oh, I forgot about bearded Jesse  
Benny: What do you want?  
Martha: Oh right sorry, I have a present for you  
Benny: And what is that?  
*Martha kicks Benny in the balls and walks away*  
Yuffie/Cara: you all right?  
Benny: Damn that hurt  
Kyle: Friging Martha  
Benny: I'm gonna get her......... I'm gonna get her good  
  
*2nd work time*  
  
Ms. Gupta: Okay class, Get your Science books. New kids, come here  
*The group goes to Ms. Gupta*  
Ms.Gupta: Okay Alfred, here is your science book  
* 2 Minutes Later*  
Ms.gupta: Well for today we are going to start on a project. On the project we will make Volcanoes  
Class: Cool  
Ms. Gupta: Model ones  
Class: Rats  
Ms.gupta: You will all work in groups of 2  
Class: Cool  
Ms. gupta: That I choose  
Class: Rats  
Ms. Gupta: Kyle and Charlotte will be working together  
Kyle & Charlotte: Awsome  
Ms. Gupta: Emma & Jesse, Alfred & Kevin, Richard & Buddy, Vince & Sid, Cara & Howard  
Group: Sweet  
* Ms. Gupta tells more groups, then*  
Ms. Gupta: And Finally, Benny & Martha  
Benny & Martha: ^$&%*(*$#$^!!!!!!!!  
* Ms. Gupta explains what to do........... it's not important*  
Ms. gupta: Time for gym  
  
* Gym *   
  
Gym Teacher: Hello, start with your warm ups, except the new kids, you come here  
*They walk over*  
Gym teacher: hello I'm Mr. B  
Group: we're foreign exchange students  
*2 minutes later*  
Mr.B: All right, today we are going to, play floor hockey  
Cloud/Alfred: Benny, what's floor hockey?  
Benny: you have a stick and you try to get the ball, when you get the ball you shoot it into the opponent's net  
Cloud/Alfred: okay  
Mr.B: Okay, team captains are boys today........ Benny, and Michael  
*They choose the teams and they start to play*  
Michael: Benny, you shouldn't have gone and chosen all of the new kids, now I have all of the good players  
Benny: well, we'll just have to see  
* Mr.B drops the ball and the game begins............... and ends*  
Michael: Oh! my nose........ it's bleeding!  
Alfred/Cloud: Sorry  
Michael: you didn't have to try to hit the ball so hard!  
Cloud/Alfred: I said I'm sorry, My strength is 255  
Mr.B: What does that mean?  
Cloud/Alfred: It means um.............. It means I'm a foreign exchange student!  
  
*Lunch*  
  
Kyle: So do you have a plan?  
Benny: Damn strait I do!  
Kyle: what is it?  
Benny: you'll see  
Yuffie/Cara: Hey, there's Martha!  
Benny: Thanks  
*Benny pulls out a bottle of water*  
Kyle: what's that for?  
Benny: You'll see   
*Benny walks over to Martha*  
Benny: Hey  
Martha: get away  
Benny: Sorry, I just wanted to say "nice shirt"  
*Martha looks down at her plain, white T-shirt*  
Martha: What's so nice about it?  
Benny: I don't know........... It just is  
Martha: Okay, now go away!  
Benny: Fine  
*Benny starts to walk away, then turns back*  
Martha: What?  
Benny: I remember why it's so nice.......  
Martha: Why?  
*Benny splashes the water on Martha's shirt*  
Benny: Well, I don't think it's nice, but a lot of other people will like to look at it now  
Martha: F%^k you!!!!!!!!!!  
Benny:............. No thanks  
  
*Music*  
  
Music Teacher: Hello everyone, I heard we have some new kids today  
Benny: Yes  
Martha: Ms. Hanson!  
Music Teacher: Yes?  
Martha: Can I go dry off in the bathroom?  
Ms. Hanson: And why are you wet?  
Martha:.............. I fell in a puddle  
Ms. Hanson: But it wasn't raining  
Martha: Yeah I know, I fell in a puddle in the bathroom  
Class: Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!  
Ms. Hanson: Go ahead  
*Martha starts for the door*  
Ms. Hanson: Hurry back  
Martha: Okay  
*So, later on*  
Ms. Hanson: Okay, today is concert day, so who wants to perform?  
(Concert day is, when the kids perform any music they want)  
Ms. Hanson: Okay so, only Benny, Kyle, Gwen and the new kids.............. eany, meany, miny, mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, eany, meany, miny, mo........ Benny!  
( Benny's song will be on fan fiction soon, just search for it, it's actually pretty funny)  
*Okay so, eveyone takes their turn, except the FF group*  
Ms. Hanson: Okay new kids  
(The group's song will be on soon, just search; new kid's song)  
  
* Time to read *   
  
*They read*  
(The end)  
  
* 3rd work time *  
  
Ms. Gupta: Blah! Blah! Blah!  
Benny: what?  
Ms. Gupta: Blah!  
Cloud/Alfred: What?  
Ms. Gupta: Blah!  
Barret/Richard: What?  
Ms. Gupta: Bla!  
Tifa/Emma: What?  
Ms. Gupta: That's all I hear in this class...... Blah, Blah, Blah!  
Boy: A phoodoo! A phoodoo!  
( That's Eitan, you'll see more of him later on in the story)  
Ms. Gupta: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Class:...................................... Blah!  
Ms. Gupta: I can't take it anymore!  
*Ms. Gupta pulls out a gun and shoots herself right in the head*  
Class:............................ Awsome, early recess!  
  
* 2nd Recess *  
  
*They all run outside only to meet the Principal*  
Principal: Your teacher shot herself, you all have to go home*  
  
( Okay, it was a pretty shit ass way to end the chapter but, I was tired and had lost my focus...... I was bored) 


End file.
